15 weeks!

15 weeks today!  Seriously??

Ryan, napping in the afternoon (something he RARELY does)

So, a big horrible tragic event happened this past week.  It was so horrific that it pains me even to type this out....

My maternity leave was up and I had to go back to work. :( :( :( :(  It was horrible.  Absolutely horrible.  I probably cried no less than 10 times on Tuesday, and then Wednesday morning, I cried or got super teary about 4 times before I even left the house.  I cried on the way to work.  I cried about 5 times while at work.  I raced home as soon as I was able to, so I could be with my sweet sweet Ryan.  Although I REALLY do love my job and I really do love most of the people I work with, I would still much rather be at home with my little guy.  There were times when I physically ached to hold him during the day, but had to settle for calling my mom about 394757 times yesterday and today.  Ryan, on the other hand, was perfectly happy spending the day with his Oma and Levi.  He did better in terms of feeding and napping when Oma and Levi came over to our house to spend the day, so at least I know he's comfortable in his own house.  I suppose that's a good sign that we're making our house a warm, inviting, and comfortable home for him.  My last few days of maternity leave were spent savoring the small moments with Ryan--his morning smiles, playing modified versions of peek-a-boo with him (the real version still scares him and he cries), doing tummy time, reading books, going for walks, and doing all the things I wished I was doing while I was instead working these past two days.  It really made me realize just how special maternity leave is, and I am very thankful that I had such an extensive leave....but it really never is enough.  It is relieving to know that he is in GREAT hands while I'm at work, but it doesn't make me miss him any less.  I do love knowing that he is going to have a very very special bond with his Oma and with Levi.  So far, Oma has been the only one to get Ryan to fall asleep and take a nap without his binky, without being swaddled, and/or without white noise.  She's truly amazing!

So, in Ryan news, he's really enjoying playing a modified version of peek-a-boo where you look away for about 2 seconds, and then look back at him and go "HUH?".  He smiles...and then begins to giggle...and then begins to laugh.  It's so cute!  He loves grabbing onto things now, and loves playing in his exersaucer (still on limited time though).  He LOVES grabbing onto his feet and grabs them not only on the changing table, but now whenever he's on his activity mat or laying down in general.  We've started playing "This Little Piggy" with him, and he gets such a big smile on his face :)

One time this past weekend, Ryan was being very difficult very early in the morning.  After I woke up with him no less than 4 times one night, I finally made Joe take over.  I went into another room to try to continue sleeping, but I went back into Ryan's room, and I saw this:

Joe and Ryan snuggling in the morning

I know the picture quality is horrible, but Joe got Ryan to go back to sleep and I thought this was too adorable for me NOT to take a picture of.  It's times like these that make parenthood really special :)